Category Archives: Movie Reviews

Cartoon Gandalf spins around while speaking the Black Speech in The Shire.

Live Tweet of Bakshi’s “The Lord of the Rings” at Noon

Cartoon Gandalf spins around while speaking the Black Speech in The Shire.This is the last of many reminders!  The day has finally come; at noon (Pacific Time), I will tweet my thoughts on Ralph Bakshi’s “The Lord of the Rings” cartoon at twitter.com/hashtag/lotr78.  I happily invite you to tweet along with me if you’re interested in making your thoughts known about this cartoon!

Bakshi “The Lord of the Rings” Live-Tweeting Tomorrow

The animated version of Gandalf in Ralph Bakshi's cartoon.Greetings!  Tomorrow at 12:00PM (Pacific Time), I’m going to watch Ralph Bakshi’s adaptation of The Lord of the Rings and tweet my thoughts live at twitter.com/hashtag/lotr78 as I do so.  You’re invited to join in on the discussion at noon tomorrow, and if you want to make sure you don’t miss the event, you can follow me at twitter.com/HM_Turnbull.

Alien Force's bastardized version of Ben Tennyson

“Ben 10: Alien Force” Review

After tackling a sensitive topic in my last review, I decided to finish work on what amounts more to a rant.  You see, the original Ben 10 was a great show.  It ended, I think, on a high note; I never wanted a bloody sequel—we got one, though.  Ben 10: Alien Force is one of the worst spin-offs I’ve ever seen; despite not being as terrible as the likes of “Teen Titans Go,” Alien Force still fails at nearly everything.  Basic character development, emotions, action, and so many other elements seem to be beyond the scope of Alien Force.  Eight or ten episodes in (if I remember correctly) and I was bloody done.
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Zoro holding a sword in each hand and one in his mouth.

Sexism in One Piece

There’s nothing more certain to draw masses of ire than the criticism of a well-liked show.  That said, I don’t really have much choice in the matter, as I could not ignore such blatant sexism as one finds in the nineteenth episode of the show One Piece.Zoro holding a sword in each hand and one in his mouth.  First of all, I have heard that the show gets better after this, so if this is the case, please consider this to be a criticism of Episode Nineteen only.  I don’t think that’s entirely unreasonable, as this episode functions more-or-less as a standalone story; for the purposes of this review I will regard it as such.
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Merlin prepares to cast a spell.

“BBC’s Merlin” Review

“In a land of myth and a time of magic, the destiny of a great kingdom rests on the shoulders of a young man.  His name: Merlin.”Kilgharrah

Merlin prepares to cast a spell.After all the horrible works I’ve reviewed recently, I decided it was finally time to talk about something that’s really good.  I had a few candidates in mind, but eventually I settled on one of my favourite television shows: BBC’s fantasy epic Merlin.
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Hazen, another chosen one from the future, prepares to thrust with the king's sword.

“In the Name of the King 3: The Last Mission” Review

It’s finally about to be over!  The first In the Name of the King film was high fantasy at its very worst, the second was portal fantasy at its worst, and for some reason I don’t want to understand, Uwe Boll decided to make a third bollocks film in this awful, awful series.Hazen, another chosen one from the future, prepares to thrust with the king's sword.  This one, called either “In the Name of the King Ⅲ: The Last Mission” or, more appropriately, “In the Name of the King 3: The Last Job,” has as much to do with the other two films as the second has to do with the first.

It strikes me that, throughout these three films, not a single plot-thread from the first film—or the second—has been resolved in any sense of the word.  Nonetheless, it has more in common with Two Worlds than with A Dungeon Siege Tale, being a pathetic excuse for portal fantasy rather than high fantasy.
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“In the Name of the King 2: Two Worlds” Review

Granger the modern-day veteran meets Raven, a medieval king.In my previous article, I talked about a film called In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale.  In case you didn’t read that review, the film is by the infamous Uwe Boll, and it’s high fantasy at its very worst.  Upon finishing that abomination, Boll must have realized that there remained at least a very few of the genre’s worst writing practices that he’d not had time for in the original.  Sadly for everyone concerned, good old Uwe decided to make two sequels just so he could squeeze in more of the worst things a fantasy writer can do.
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Farmer fights the Krug army in the forest

“In the Name of the King” Review

“Look; I am not a fucking retard like Michael Bay!”Uwe Boll

As adept a judge of character as the above quote would suggest him to be, Uwe Boll’s body of work is at least as bad as anything I’ve seen from Michael Bay.  My article today concerns Boll’s attempt at a high fantasy epic.  Like most of his work, In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale is based on a video-game.  I read a bit about the story of the game, and the movie seems to have nothing to do with it.  Most reviews of In the Name of the King dub it one of the worst fantasy stories of all time, but I recently reviewed The Dragon in the Sock Drawer, which was so stupid and utterly mental that In the Name of the King seems all the more bland.
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“The Twelve Kingdoms” Anime Review

I recently decided that, just for the fun of seeing what would happen, I’d randomly decide on an anime I’d never heard of and watch it from start to finish.  Unfortunately, it didn’t turn out as well as I had hoped.  I mean, I do have quite a lot to say about it, but the show itself wasn’t especially good.
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The 1977 Hobbit cartoon is an abomination.

Review of Rankin/Bass’ The Hobbit (1977)

In the first article I ever wrote for this site, I reviewed a 1966 cartoon loosely derived from The Hobbit by J. R. R. Tolkien.The 1977 Hobbit cartoon is an abomination.  Now, this cartoon was actually calculated to be as faithless an adaptation as possible for use as a tool of blackmail, and this eventually led to the existence of a second attempt to adapt The Hobbit to the screen eleven years later, this time by Rankin/Bass, a studio famous for its holiday specials.  Many of their other works are really good, but they’re really out of their league here.  This, along with two later cartoons, are often considered to make up a sort of half-formed trilogy, and I’ll eventually get around to reviewing the other two.
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