I promised at the end of my previous article that I’d review something worse than Violence Jack next, and today I will keep that promise. But what could be worse than Violence Jack? I present to you… Midori: Shōjo Tsubaki! Midori was adapted from a manga by Maruo Suehiro titled “Shōjo Tsubaki” or “Mr. Arashi’s Amazing Freak Show.” The man behind this adaptation is Harada Hiroshi, on whom I was able to find surprisingly little information. From what I can gather, Hiroshi is a recluse who animated this whole thing himself because no one else would agree to finance it. Their reluctance is unsurprising given the nature of the story being adapted. Hiroshi has referred several times to Shōjo Tsubaki as an unconventional romance; it’s not. Even after watching this thing I’m not sure I can discern any plot. Rather, things just happen because they disgust, and for no other reason.
Continue reading “Midori: Shōjo Tsubaki” Review
When I heard about Violence Jack from another reviewer, I thought, “That sounds almost as bad as Game of Thrones.” I’d heard this was one of the worst anime ever, that morality wasn’t a concept that existed in Violence Jack’s world, and that the male characters were all rapists, child-murderers, and worse. Now I’ve seen this piece of crap, I can say that’s all true. Now it comes time to review this thing.
Continue reading “Violence Jack” Review
I love Death Note, but this movie is not Death Note. It may bear the title of “Death Note”, but it’s really not. It doesn’t surprise me that this movie is bad. I fully expected the American version of Death Note to be bad, but I didn’t expect it to be quite as terrible as this.
What is Death Note?
In case you’re not aware, Death Note is an anime about a Japanese high school honour student named Light Yagami who finds a shinigami’s notebook, which allows him to kill anyone whose name he writes in it—usually by heart attack. Light decides to use the notebook to become, as he puts it, “the god of the new world” by killing all the world’s criminals, followed by anyone else he sees as unworthy to live. A brilliant detective named L realizes early on how dangerous “Kira the Saviour” is and makes it his goal to catch the serial killer.
Continue reading “Death Note” (2017) Review
Thus far, I’ve written a number of articles on George R. R. Martin’s horrendously boring A Song of Ice and Fire series. Among these were two in which I analyzed some of the many poorly-written shells that pass for characters in Martin’s world. In this article, however, I will discuss the villain of the first few volumes, King Joffrey. Joffrey is the only well-written character in A Song of Ice and Fire, mostly because he’s the only character who’s internally consistent.
Continue reading King Joffrey: The Only Well-Written Character in Game of Thrones
In my last article concerning A Song of Ice and Fire, I discussed a character called Jon Snow. He was, as are all George R. R. Martin’s characters, incredibly bland and unpleasant. Although they’re all basically the same character, there are more of the same character to tear apart in these articles, so let’s get started with Stannis Baratheon.
Continue reading Stannis Baratheon: Another One-Note Asshole
“What’s wrong with the characters in A Song of Ice and Fire,” you ask? Well, let’s just take a look. As for what’s wrong, where do I begin? Why don’t I start with the fact that they’re all basically the same character? You can’t really expect any better when an author divides his attention among a thousand of them, which is why you need to limit the number of pivotal characters in a story. Every character in the story has, at most, a few personality traits to differentiate it from the cookie-cutter template that Martin applies to the lot of them.
I plan on suffering through several more of these character analyses, but I’ll start with the ever-tedious Jon Snow. No, I’m not talking about Dr. John Snow, the Victorian physician who discovered that drinking polluted water was a bad thing—oh, I only wish! Jon Snow is, amazingly, one of the least irritating of Martin’s characters. I shudder to think of analyzing any of the others, but that’s Future Hamish’s problem!
Continue reading Jon Snow: The Boring Bastard
I had intended to touch upon this in my actual review of Chapter 16, but it slipped my mind when I actually sat down to write the review. In case anyone needs further evidence in support of my claim that the direwolf’s slaughter had almost no effect on the characters, I found a quote by the author about just that while making sure I hadn’t misremembered anything.
Continue reading A Game of Thrones Review: “A Little Adrift”
After looking at the first chapter of George R. R. Martin’s abhorrent A Song of Ice and Fire series, it almost goes without saying that we should, without warning, jump fifteen chapters ahead to one of the very worst this series has to offer, doesn’t it? Therefore I will jump straight to reviewing the chapter that should have made me quit reading this awful series.
Continue reading A Game of Thrones Review: One Dead Direwolf and a Whole Cast of Unlikable Characters
In my last post concerning A Game of Thrones by George R. R. Martin, I reviewed the prologue. In today’s post, I shall review the first chapter. Surprisingly, there’s actually one line of dialogue I like in this chapter. Unsurprisingly, however, there is only one line I like.
Continue reading A Game of Thrones Review: Chapter 1
In my first article on the subject of George R. R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire series, I mentioned that after subjecting my eyes to the ugliest map ever rendered, the first volume began with a prologue. One of the first things you learn about writing a book is that your first paragraph has to entice the reader. The prologue is a book’s first impression; it’s essentially the story putting its best foot forward. After hearing fans expound upon his “gripping prose” and “realistic characters,” I hadn’t expected the writing to be so blatantly inept. In this post, I will go into some detail on what makes the story’s first impression so unbelievably dull.
Continue reading A Game of Thrones Review: The Prologue