Category Archives: Reviews

Arthur Sailes hums while burning Father Rabin to death.

“Ben & Arthur” Movie Review

The first thing I ever reviewed on this site was an adaptation of The Hobbit that Gene Deitch made in 1966.  Later I reviewed a Harry Potter fan-fiction called My Immortal by Tara “XXXbloodyrists666XXX” Gilesbie.  What connects these is that they are both so-bad-they’re-good.  Ben & Arthur, on the other hand, is almost so-bad-it’s-homophobic, and it’s the worst movie I’ve ever seen.

Arthur orders Victor to tell him who the hitman is.It’s not that Ben & Arthur can’t be entertaining in its failings, but Ben & Arthur’s outlook on the world is veiled more thinly than The Room’s misogyny.  And what is this outlook?  Why, it’s that “straight people are all evil, bigoted psychopaths,” of course!  Why then did I say that the film is borderline homophobic?  Well, because it’s both heterophobic and homophobic.
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The inspiration for one of Peter Jackson's scenes.

Review of Ralph Bakshi’s “The Lord of the Rings” (1978)

Frodo, Sam, and Gollum in Bakshi's cartoon.Last year I reviewed the 1977 Rankin/Bass cartoon adaptation of The Hobbit.  Today I’ll be taking a look at another such cartoon: Ralph Bakshi’s 1978 attempt to bring The Lord of the Rings to the screen.  As I did with the Hobbit cartoon—and as I’m planning to do with the final instalment in the cartoon trilogy—I began by live-tweeting as I watched Bakshi’s film, the highlights of which can be found here.  As I had feared going into this, Bakshi largely failed to capture quite what he needed to capture with this one.
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Harry Potter casts his first true patronus charm.

“Harry Potter” Book Series Review

Harry Potter casts his first true patronus charm.If you ask me what I think of J. K. Rowling’s Harry Potter series, my answer will likely depend on what day you ask me.  Some days I’ll say I liked it; some days I’ll hate it.  In all honesty, however, my feelings towards Harry Potter are best described as “confused,” because there are a lot of things I really like about the series and a lot of things I really hate.  All things considered, I usually wind up mostly ambivalent towards Rowling’s best-known work.
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Harry Potter kills a basilisk with the sword of Godric Griffindor

“Harry Potter” Review Coming Soon

With my review of Ralph Bakshi’s The Lord of the Rings cartoon still a while off, I’ve decided to review something else in the meantime.  For the past little while, I’ve been working on a review of J. K. Rowling’s wildly successful Harry Potter series.  Let’s get this out of the way for those who might be worried—I don’t dislike the Harry Potter series, so you can expect a more positive review than most of the stuff I’ve been posting recently.  Hooray!

Harry Potter kills a basilisk with the sword of Godric GriffindorI’ll be reviewing all seven books in a single article, which should explain why it’s taken me so long (despite only beginning to write the review over the weekend, I had been planning it for a long time before that).  So now you know what my next few big projects are!  I hope you’re as excited as I am about this, and if so, then you can expect to see a new review up within the next few weeks.

King Joffrey is the only well-written character in Game of Thrones.

King Joffrey: The Only Well-Written Character in Game of Thrones

Thus far, I’ve written a number of articles on George R. R. Martin’s horrendously boring A Song of Ice and Fire series.  Among these were two in which I analyzed some of the many poorly-written shells that pass for characters in Martin’s world.  In this article, however, I will discuss the villain of the first few volumes, King Joffrey.  Joffrey is the only well-written character in A Song of Ice and Fire, mostly because he’s the only character who’s internally consistent.
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Bronn the mercenary sings The Rains of Castamere.

The Music of Game of Thrones

Game of Thrones, the show that captivates fourteen-year-olds everywhere, is bad.  It’s not well-written; it’s not well-shot; it’s not well-lit; half the time it’s not even well-acted; and even the music to the opening credits is little more than a rip-off of better music.  When I first heard that opening theme, I liked it, and indeed it was what made me watch the show in the first place.  I’d watch the opening credits then suffer through the blandness that followed, but I was always struck by how similar it was to the theme from another show…
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“A Game of Thrones: Are You Not Entertained” by Robert Tracinski

Charles Dance's character facing his grandson the king.

I highly recommend you read this article by Robert Tracinski about Game of Thrones.  I personally feel that Game of Thrones is a symptom of a problem.  I frequently see sycophants droning on about how “great” the show is and how “realistic” the characters are, so it’s good to hear that I’m not alone in my concern about the nihilism that Game of Thrones promotes.

Abandon hope.

“The Last Airbender” Movie Review

Abandon hope.You may remember my article on the greatest show of all time, Avatar: The Last Airbender.  You may also remember my mentioning that M. Night Shyamalan decided to adapt the first season into a movie.  I saw this… movie… when it first premiered.  I entered the theatre expecting to love it; by the thirty-minute mark I loathed Shyamalan with every fibre of my being, and when at last I stumbled out of that accursed theatre I would gladly have throttled the bastard.
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The Mane 6 confront Discord.

How My Little Pony Became Great

The Mane 6 wearing the Elements of Harmony.My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is my favourite show of the decade.  I don’t think anyone expected when the first generation of My Little Pony aired in the ‘80s that it would eventually become a great show, but miraculously it managed it, proving that good writing can accomplish anything.  In this article, I intend to examine briefly the three generations that preceded Friendship is Magic, and then I’ll move on to why Friendship is Magic is the amazing show that it is.
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Stannis Baratheon arrives at The Wall on his horse.

Stannis Baratheon: Another One-Note Asshole

Stannis Baratheon, a character in Game of ThronesIn my last article concerning A Song of Ice and Fire, I discussed a character called Jon Snow.  He was, as are all George R. R. Martin’s characters, incredibly bland and unpleasant.  Although they’re all basically the same character, there are more of the same character to tear apart in these articles, so let’s get started with Stannis Baratheon.
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